Cool meanings

1.
Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2.
Love affairs:

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

3.
Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

3.
Divorce:
Future tense of marriage

4.
Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

5.
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

6.
Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

7.
Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .

8.
Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.

9.
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

9.
Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

10
Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.

11.
Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

12.
Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

13.
Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


14.
Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

15.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

14
Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

15.
Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.

16.
Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

17.
Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.


18.
Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

19.
Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.

20.
Pessimist:

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

21.
Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

22
Father:

A banker provided by nature.

23.
Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.


24.
Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

25.
Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

26.
Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.